45 Ways to Redirect - How I Avoid the Dark Twisty Place
When I’m on the verge of big change, anticipating something, or just feeling generally anxious, I tend to overthink, over-analyze, and worry which eventually culminates in STRESS and my mind wandering to what I call the “dark twisty place” (see Grey’s Anatomy). You see... my default for “dealing” with shit is to veg out and overthink (usually in my bedroom with wine and chocolate while wearing sweatpants). I find myself trying to think of every possible scenario and its outcome so that I’m emotionally and mentally prepared for anything. “I will not be blindsided,” I tell [lie] to myself; if scenario A happens, then I’ll do this; if scenario B, then I’ll do that; and so on through the whole damn alphabet. Even as I type this, I realize how absolutely ridiculous (and exhausting) this approach is… it’s not healthy and it’s a giant fucking waste of time and energy.
So after a few seemingly hyper-stressful years (aka life), when I find myself headed to the “dark twisty place,” I redirect. For me, the best coping mechanism for dealing with big change and/or general life stresses is to channel my anxious energy into something productive or fun (or both).
Now, let me be clear -- I don’t bury or ignore my emotions. I believe in honoring them. I allow myself to feel all the feels and move through my emotions. What’s that quote? “It’s ok to have a bad day, just don’t unpack and live there.” Once I’ve allowed myself to process what’s happening in my life, it’s time to redirect! There’s no use in thinking about the same thing over and over again. What’s that other quote? “Worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere.” Bottom line: worry and overthinking can be crippling, toxic and can turn into depression and/or obsession (I’m speaking from experience here, folks).
Now, when I feel myself obsessing or going to the “dark twisty place,” I DO SOMETHING ELSE. To help with this, I keep a running “to do” list on my phone. Some tasks are mundane and boring (#becauselife), while others are creative and fun! I also have a dedicated Pinterest board where I save things like book lists, journal prompts, photography challenges, and “50 things to do by yourself.” Here are some of my go-to tasks/projects that I use to redirect:
Read
Write
Color (I was gifted this fun adult coloring book, and I love it!)
Do a DIY project or craft
Go for a walk
Go for a hike
Go shopping
Paint furniture (I chalk paint everything!)
Peruse Pinterest
Play with your kid(s)
Play with your dogs
Play a game
Meet up with friends (lunch, dinner, wine tasting, etc.)
Have an impromptu at-home hang and/or game night (my fave!)
Do a graphic design project
Take some photos
Cook or bake something
Meal prep
Get ahead on chores
Run errands
Go to or watch a movie (My go-to movies are Garden State and Almost Famous.)
Binge watch a show (Something new or a classic - I love SATC!)
Research something you want to know more about (so. many. things.)
Go to a bookstore or the library
Go to a local farmer’s market
Go to yard sales
Listen to a podcast
Listen to an album start to finish
Create a playlist
Discover new music
Go to a concert
Have a dance party (It’s fun and a great workout!)
Clean out your closet and donate stuff you don’t need
Volunteer
Play with your hair and/or makeup (Hello YouTube tutorials!)
Take a bubble bath (with wine of course!)
Get a manicure and/or pedicure
Do a face mask (Wine makes this one better too!)
Go to the spa (Shout out to Pearl’s Spa in Acworth, Georgia)
Workout
Do some yoga (I really like Yoga with Adriene)
Take a day trip
Go to a coffee shop
Learn something new (There are online and in-person courses for almost everything!)
Make a list of things that make you happy (Kristen Bell has a method for dealing with negative situations. When one bad thing happens, she (mentally or verbally) lists 10 things that make her happy to help balance it out. I love this so much and have started doing it myself. It helps!)
I always feel better and re-energized after doing any one of these things… and this is a very small sampling. The options truly are endless! So if you’re looking for a way to redirect and avoid the “dark twisty place,” please keep my list nearby. Or better yet, start one of your own!
What are some ways that you redirect?
Quoted: "I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriously, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends." -- Penny Lane, Almost Famous
Listen In: "Thieves" by Incubus