Third time's (hopefully) a charm
Well... IUI #2 was not successful. Like with IUI #1, I had a feeling early in the week that I wasn’t pregnant, but (unlike IUI #1) I tried to be optimistic. On CD 13, I had one huge follicle on my right ovary, and Mike’s sample was 70 million post-wash! But still no BFP. I’ve decided not to bury or fight my feelings anymore. Instead, I allow myself to feel what I’m feeling so that I can sort it out and move forward. So… I grieved the failure of another cycle and allowed myself to “feel all the feels” over the weekend.more
My period is awful on CD 2, so I took it easy and decided to start a new show on Hulu. Unfortunately, every other commercial was a really touching, tearjerker of an ad for Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Tests. The first time I watched it, I sobbed… uncontrollably; I was a mess. But every time after that, I would either roll my eyes or yell “Fuck you!” and shake my fist at the TV. It was actually very comical and a little therapeutic. I found myself laughing at myself and it felt good. Weird (and twisted), I know… but whatever works, right? (The red wine and chocolate helped too.)
So here we are! CD 4 of IUI cycle #3. On CD 10 (next Monday), I will have an HSG. I had a FemVue a couple of months ago, but my OB/GYN wasn’t able to get the saline-air stuff to go through my right tube. The tube didn’t balloon up, so she just suspected everything was fine. My RE wants to do an HSG just to make absolutely sure there’s no blockage in my right tube. That is after all the ovary that seems to be performing. So yay for another procedure… I’ve heard that an HSG can cause pain, but the severity just depends on the person. I’m not too worried about it. After multiple LEEPs, a cold knife cone surgery on my cervix, and the FemVue, I think I can handle it. And if it does hurt, it will only hurt for a short while. No problemo!
I start Clomid tomorrow. If this cycle isn’t successful (I know, I know… I should be positive), I think I’m going to speak to my RE about possibly trying a different medication, perhaps injectables. I’ve read about women with DOR having success with Gonal-F injections. It may be worth switching meds. If 3 cycles on Clomid don’t work, then why waste our time with more, ya know? Let’s change it up and try a new strategy.
On a different note, I’m having a blast designing prints for my Etsy shop. It’s a nice distraction and it makes me happy. I’ve decided to design a series of digital prints for National Infertility Awareness Week (next week in the US). I’m designing these in hopes that it will encourage and comfort others battling infertility as we wait for our miracle. Here’s the first one. I think it’s my favorite so far. :)
Quoted: “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney Listen In: “Swept Away” by The Avett Brothers